the ballad of benson o'hara

the muffled sounds of bombs exploding in the distance reminded gloria that the country was still at war and men were still out there dying. “i can’t take this any more miss betsy, i just can’t take it!” gloria sobbed into the arms of the field nurse. “it’s going to be okay ma’am, mr. o’hara is going to be just fine. dr. gambles is the finest surgeon in the south.” the nurse tried to sound convincing but her voice trembled with uncertainty. dr. gambles walked into the small tent with his clipboard, “gloria i have news about your husband. i don’t want to give you any false hopes, but it seems that my experimental surgery has been successful. but i must warn you, it’s still very early to tell.” gloria stood up and hugged the doctor with all her strength as she cried, “thank heavens for men like you doctor!” “now listen to me gloria” he said grabbing her by the arms, “his injuries were severe, he may not be the same man you remember. i’ve taught him some hand signals to communicate, but it’s going to be an uphill battle for him.” gloria’s eyes swelled with tears, “may i see him now?” the doctor looked over at the field nurse and sighed, “okay, but you must understand that he’s going to be different.” dr. gambles took gloria by the hand and led her into the post op tent. sergeant benson o’hara had been on the front lines at deer creek when the union army advanced on his forces just east of falmouth near fredericksburg virginia. he had peeked over the top of his dirt bunker when he was hit with a union cannonball, taking his head clean off at the neck. luckily for the soldier, a confederate medic was near by and tied a tourniquet around his neck and stopped the bleeding. gloria wrapped her arms around benson and pressed her cheek to his neck stump, “don’t you ever go scaring me like that again benny!” the soldier clapped his hands three times and snapped his fingers, then clapped two more times. “what’s he doing doctor?” gloria said looking puzzled. dr. gambles smiled. "those are the hand signals i taught him gloria, i do believe he just said i love you."


Perfect Virgo said...

The thought of a 'neck stump' makes me slightly billious.

rebecca marie said...


finnegan said...

this is the wackiest bag of nuts i've bit into since the johannesburg trials of world war 6.

i became emotional---the love pouring out of me so profusely that i had to grab my grandmother's heirloom doily to sop up the chicken cordon blues.

i'm fucking stumped.

veryfine vacation word of the day: JIFFYLUBEd