the mysterious mind of dr. thong

the doctor dug deep into his lab coat pockets searching for the skeleton key to the old iron lock which hung on the heavy wooden door like a gold medallion on a fifth street pimp. doctor ling thong was a serious man of hard science and study with a short temper and little time for foolishness. he was almost sure he hadn’t been followed but he took his normal evasive measures to be positive. he walked down decatur to third, crisscrossed over to the shelby avenue cleaners, then doubled back along the garbage can lined alley to first street. dr. thong had several confusing routes that he took home everyday, making sure he rotated them on a random basis to avoid any unwanted attention. “where you results thonger? where you big-time experiment?” the doctor said to himself tauntingly as he stepped inside the doorway to the cramped lab, locking the door behind him. ling had been given the nickname “the thonger” after a humiliating college prank on him by a group of neanderthals in the fall semester of 1963. the prank involved tequila, a hook, and a pair of ling’s ripped underwear. ling, being a man of small stature, was left hanging on the hook for hours until the dean himself walked passed. by then, ling looked like a world war two paratrooper hanging from a carolina pine. unfortunately for ling, the nickname stuck, and now, years later, he used it tauntingly to push himself to show the world that dr. ling thong was no joke. “thonger, why your inventions not selling?” he grunted as he set up the beakers and lit the small burner under the glass jar of blue liquid. the college quarterback who had hung ling on the hook later married the most beautiful woman on campus, who just happened to become the most influential fashion designer of the 1970’s. she danced teasingly in front of her husband in her latest creation, a pair of panties made predominately of string. the man rolled over holding his sides with laughter, “oh lord, please let me name it!”

1 comment:

Kim said...

LOL! I need to come back here and get caught up, you've posted some cute stuff this past week! Love the new look too...