the h-53 sea stallion touched down on the steaming tarmac of the san andros airport at 11:15 am thursday afternoon. the pilot swung the nose around to face the tiny terminal. a hand painted sign read "andros island international airport," you had to laugh. there was one small white cinder block building and a grassy parking lot. the massive prop hummed like a ten dollar hooker on a textile salesman. the pilot muttered something into his mic as he began the tedious process of flipping a series of switches to shut down the mighty beast. "welcome to the bahamas" the co-pilot said in a strange accent. i grabbed my heavy ruck sack and slung it over my shoulder, "thank you" i mumbled as i jumped out of the now open gunner's door. the sun was blinding and cruel, but there was a warm exotic breeze that filled my lungs. "well" i told myself, "this is it, you're finally going to meet her." lucia de mulique was a dark skinned bahamian beauty i'd met over the internet. was i ready to meet her? you bet your ass i was, and i had a ruck sack full of sex toys and lotions to prove it. i took a long drink from the warm flask of gin... "gerald get out of the sandbox and wash up for dinner please, grandma will be here in ten minutes" mother yelled from the screen door. i reluctantly dropped the small plastic helicopter and stood up dusting the sand off my tuffskins. "damn!" i thought, "...lucia, you'll just have to wait my darling."